The 10 Craziest Things Employees Tried to Expense Last Year

Thought the days were gone when a worker could subsidize crazy living with the company Amex? Oh, you naive paragons of corporate virtue. Even in these days of austerity and job insecurity, up to one-fifth of submitted expenses violate company policy, says Robert Neveu, chief executive of Certify, an expense management software firm based in Portland, Me. The violations can range from minor sins like late receipts to the truly mind-blowing—suffice it to say, not one but two live animals (as well as some fake ones) made the list. “Crazy expenses do get submitted more than one might expect,” Neveu says.

Certify shared with Bloomberg Businessweek 10 examples of the more brazen expenses it has collected, based on some 1,000 surveys asking about employees’ outrageous submissions in 2012. Due to confidentiality agreements, the companies were not disclosed, nor were details on which of these expenses were actually paid and which were rejected. (Also no word on who got dunked most in that rented dunk tank.) “They might be crazy,” Neveu says of employee expenses, “but some are legit.” Look, deer urine can be a godsend in the right situation—take a client hunting, win more business. Small price to pay, as long as you’re not the deer.

Goat. Some employees at an energy supply firm apparently decided that, at least in Mexico, a little cabrito was needed. Yum.

Body oil. Someone in retail must have a great body, although it’s unclear if his or her employer wanted to foot the bill for the oil used in a bodybuilding competition.

Deer urine. The urine was an integral prerequisite for an agricultural products company employee’s successful hunting trip with a client. Our question: Who or what got shot?

Baby giraffe. The young giraffe was brought to an office party for a restaurant/hospitality company. We suspect there was plenty of booze there, too.

Live baby octopuses. A Japanese visitor to a pharmaceutical company wanted sushi. What are you gonna do, go to a restaurant or something?

Dunk tank. The dunk tank was rented to boost employee morale at an auto parts supplier. They used it to dunk their boss, which was actually probably pretty good for morale.

Pink flamingo lawn ornaments. The employee of a medical device manufacturer needed four. For the home, it’s tacky, but for the office? That’s so fun! Umbrella drinks for everyone!

Laser tattoo removal. Submitted by an IT industry worker who decided that tattoos did not fit his/her professional image and sought to ”appear more professional to clients.” Sounds reasonable enough, especially if you’re this guy.

$1,300 for Henry IV Cognac. After dinner, the Masters of the Universe in finance like to have drinks. One employee decided to sample one of the world’s most expensive liquors on the company dime. Nothing about this should really be all that surprising.

A trip for a job interview. Yes, someone apparently hated his telecom/ISP gig so much he decided the company should pay the cost for seeking a new employer. Call it the audacity of hope. Good luck, friend. You—and your brazen expenses—will surely be missed.

By:  Venessa Wong
http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-01-04/the-10-craziest-things-employees-tried-to-expense-last-year 

9 Reasons Why Some African Ladies End Up Single For Life

1. Many African ladies will end up singles for life because of media exposure- it is so disheartening how a lady will glue her eyes on a mobile phone from morning to night, only to raise it up to focus on television to watch another celebrity entertainment channel. Tell me, what else will dominate this lady’s mindset aside how to live a fake celebrity life being promoted on television channels?

2. Many African ladies now dislike cooking and home chores just because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to modern media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive way that’s aimed at destroying the unique African family setting that made our previous African marriages everlasting and envious to the westerns. Now, with this attitude, how do you expect a African man to desire to marry when he knows he is only buying more headache and trouble than helper for himself?

3. Excessive makeup turns most decent and serious-minded men off- if you have observed, you will discover that most men dislike excessive makeup, and more don’t even like it at all; reason they often times discourage their true loved ones to do away with it cos it speaks ill of a lady even though so many men will applaud and complement you for looking like an Egyptian mummy. A slight makeup is okay; but if you are out for marriage, try always to look simple and natural, it will attract better men, decent and serious-minded, except you are still living in your high school life and not thinking towards marriage.

4. Stop Giving Your Number Out To Every Dick & Harry! No man would want to propose marriage to a lady whose phone is always talking and laughing with unserious calls. You may not be a playgirl, but he would judge you as one, and will likely flee at the slightest chance or disagreement.

5. You Don’t Bring Any Value Into The Life Of Men You Date or Are Dating- because your best friend married without contributing anything to the man that finally married her, doesn’t mean it will work for you that way. Think, work towards equipping yourself so that you can be a value and also add value to his life to convince him that you are worth committing to. Adding value to his life isn’t by giving him money, or material gifts, nope….good counsels, being his best friend, helping him attain his goals in life, lending him moral, mental and spiritual support, and by not just being a liability that only bring requests and problems to be solved.

6. Your Friends Run Your Life- how do you expect to find a husband when you still allow your clique of friends to be dictating which man you meet is worthy of your love and which is not? When will you wake up and face the fact that those your best friends even though they cherish you, wouldn’t want you to marry before them or to marry the best man?

7. You Give Everything Out During Dating- As a single lady who has not been taken to the altar, you need to reserve some things for your husband to be, especially your body, respect it and preserve it at all cost. In the past, men rushed to marry to get certain things or privileges they had been constantly denied while being single. Such privileges include and not limited to: constant sex and companionship, good food and tidied home, etc. But today, a single man gets even the best and of course more of constant sex, good food and excellent home-keeping more than his married counterparts, so tell me how the hell you want him to desire to marry you when you have given him virtually everything he desires from a wife while being his girlfriend? And the most painful part of it all is that he knows that you are prepared to cut down on sex supply, cooking, home-keeping, etc once he marries you, so why would he not want you to remain his girlfriend for life?

8. You Package Yourself Wrongly- in your attempt to look sexy, adorable and maybe appealing to guys, you have derailed from appealing to appalling. In fact you look more whorish than modest; more distractive than attractive, and more disgusting than adorable. Your dressing style determines who gets attracted to you most times. If you dress high school, only high school-thinking guys will be attracted to you, and if you dress excessively sexy and provocative, only randy men will come to you for urgent satisfaction of their immediate sex urge, so don’t be fooled by media hyping of certain kinds of dressing, they are meant for certain set of ladies you wouldn’t like to be associated with, be careful. Remember, not all clothes that look sexy are good for a seriously searching for a soul mate single lady.

9. You Lack Manner, Character, Wisdom and Good Home Upbringing- definitely, your ‘hot girl’, ‘pretty girl’, ‘sexy girl’ looks will win you so many men; both the good, and the bad, but your inner beauty, your character and manner are the things that will determine whether any of those men would stay or run after accomplishing their evil missions. In order words, do away with nagging, being possessive, challenging with men in negative ways, the mentality of ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’, a lie devil has used to deceive and destroy so many ladies today, please do away with it.

By: Tinashe Maruta 

Source: http://olaedo.riktechnologies.com/9-reasons-why-some-african-ladies-end-up-single-for-life/