Arik Stowaway boy: The big picture by Theophilus Ilevbare

Nigerians woke up on Sunday 25 August, 2013 to learn of a stowaway teenage boy, Daniel Ohikhena, who flew with Arik’s flight W3 544 from Benin to Lagos, thinking the plane was US-bound! Daniel, probably, had fantasised of life in far away America, watched films where some movie stars in a feign show of bravado, stowaway precariously on fast moving cars and aircrafts , chose to be the hero in reality, difficult to tell if he was oblivious of the risk his bluster involved, how far a flight from Benin to US was, or how he planned to survive extreme weather conditions. Only the intrepid adolescent had the answers to these questions. As mother luck would have it, the flight was Lagos-bound.

In other climes, where security breaches – in the face of increasing global terror attacks – are not treated with kid gloves, heads will roll in the aviation sector. The laxity of airport officials underscores the insecurity in the country. Our ‘smart’ airport officials, come alive when luggage are in sight. Missing baggage and other valuables are common place in Nigeria’s airports.

The war of words and blame trading between Arik Air and Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria (FAAN) has continued unabated.  FAAN investigations revealed “that a passenger on board the flight called the attention of the cabin crew while the aircraft was waiting to take off at the threshold of the runway, to the effect that they had seen a young boy go under the aircraft and had not seen him re-appear on the other side.” It was gathered that the cabin crew then informed the pilot who radioed the airport control tower to verify. The airport official ignored the request to conduct a check, but instead, gave the all clear for take off.

From the foregoing, it is crystal clear that FAAN officials were complacent, and should accept responsibility that they failed in first, protecting the airports area from intruders and secondly, conducting a thorough check on the plane before take-off. Their lackadaisical attitude and negligence of duty would have brought down the plane in shreds had it been a terrorist was the stowaway. However, security is a responsibility for all players in the aviation industry. Arik could have taken it upon themselves to be thorough. The level of complacency in this country is alarming. If there are no sanctions for this incident, the task of averting future air mishap becomes a mirage. The porous state of airport security calls for worry at a time the nation is struggling to curb the spate of insurgency, terrorists desperate to destabilize Nigeria and spill as much blood as possible are ever lurking.

But how long will it take the Ministry of Aviation to beef up security at the nation’s airports is a question only themselves can answer; starting with the delayed erection of perimeter fences across airports nationwide. Why for example, should armed bandits raid the gateway airport in Lagos seamlessly, even with the avalanche of security agencies at the airport?

Remember how the claims by the former Director General of the Nigerian Civil Aviation Authority (NCAA), Dr. Harold Demuren, that the explosives found on Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, did not pass through the Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), Ikeja, Lagos? The would-be terrorist eventually opened up that he, indeed, passed through the Lagos airport, twice, with the deadly devices undetected. Mutallab was said to have told an American investigator that he got the devices in Yemen and brought them to Lagos. He then transported them from Lagos to Amsterdam. That is how safe our airports are.

The shear bravery exhibited by the adolescent stowaway is what has taken many by awe. Aviation experts are still at a loss how the lad survived the turbulence at such altitude. Information on Wikipedia reveal that stowaways in aircraft wheel wells face numerous health risks, many of which are fatal, which include: being mangled when undercarriage retracts, tinnitus, deafness, hypothermia, hypoxia, frostbite, acidosis or falling off when the doors of the compartment reopen. Thirteen cases of stowaway incidents in the United States alone were reported by a 1997 study, resulting in 8 deaths. The Arik Air flight from Benin to Lagos is a short trip which did not necessitate high altitude cruise, else Daniel Ihekina would not have survived. We would want to think that protocol should have demanded that, the SSS should have first took him for medical examined before commencing their investigation.

His bravery reminds us of the failure of governance. Citizens in droves, take to life threatening voyage, to go across borders in search of greener pastures but never before have we seen a compatriot this young, this daring. There are some points worthy of note.

First, if at his age, he could muster enough courage to stowaway, then such energy if properly groomed by education, his services as a matured adult can be of colossal benefit to the country as a pilot, in the SSS, military intelligence or any of the nation’s security agencies. It is a pointer to the abundant human resources the country possesses. As I write, he has been awarded a scholarship to university level. But was it carefully thought out? Shouldn’t we be mindful of what we reward in the face of mounting security challenges?

Secondly, the stowaway’s desperado is a reflection of the frightening level of abject poverty in the county and bleak future starring Nigerian teenagers and youths in the face. If not, the lad wouldn’t have given even a second thought to such a dangerous escapade. What is the government of the day doing to impact the lives of the common man? A teenager of thirteen years already knows he can live a better life in America. He grows up with that mindset that nothing good can come out of his country. For now, to be at par with, or leapfrog America and the rest of the developed world is almost unrealistic, but government can make life less miserable for its citizens. The Nigerian people are not asking for too much, just basic amenities like good roads, electricity, health care, good schools and security of lives and properties that a teenager will never have to fantasise of going abroad. An adolescent in his native country, say Germany, Netherlands, Japan or Qatar never thinks of going overseas in search of greener pastures. Government can work towards a better Nigeria where even air travel becomes affordable to everyone and a teenager won’t have any reason to stowaway, if he ever have to go to the US. And yes, who says Nigeria can’t be greater than America?

The SSS might have to overlook Daniel’s risky adventure if it is found that he had no intent to terrorise, perpetrate a criminal act or pose any threat to passengers onboard. Funny as it seem, some give him credit not only for beating the security officials at their game but also for flying safely. Incredible, isn’t it?

-See more at: http://ilevbare.com/2013/08/arik-stowaway-boy-big-picture-theophilus-ilevbare/#sthash.di18wkNF.dpuf

A letter from the frustrated author of a journal paper

If scientific writing is an art, replying to a reviewer can be your masterpiece.

And this is what frustration can do to you: A letter from a frustrated author to a journal paper. The amusement is guaranteed (I laughed so much).

Dear Sir, Madame, or Other:

Enclosed is our latest version of Ms. #1996-02-22-RRRRR, that is the re-re-re-revised revision of our paper. Choke on it. We have again rewritten the entire manuscript from start to finish. We even changed the g-d-running head!

Hopefully, we have suffered enough now to satisfy even you and the bloodthirsty reviewers.

I shall skip the usual point-by-point description of every single change we made in response to the critiques. After all, it is fairly clear that your anonymous reviewers are less interested in the details of scientific procedure than in working out their personality problems and sexual frustrations by seeking some kind of demented glee in the sadistic and arbitrary exercise of tyrannical power over hapless authors like ourselves who happen to fall into their clutches.

We do understand that, in view of the misanthropic psychopaths you have on your editorial board, you need to keep sending them papers, for if they were not reviewing manuscripts they would probably be out mugging little old ladies or clubbing baby seals to death. Still, from this batch of reviewers, C was clearly the most hostile, and we request that you not ask him to review this revision. Indeed, we have mailed letter bombs to four or five people we suspected of being reviewer C, so if you send the manuscript back to them, the review process could be unduly delayed.

Some of the reviewers comments we could not do anything about. For example, if (as C suggested) several of my recent ancestors were indeed drawn from other species, it is too late to change that. Other suggestions were implemented, however, and the paper has been improved and benefited. Plus, you suggested that we shorten the manuscript by five pages, and we were able to accomplish this very effectively by altering the margins and printing the paper in a different font with a smaller typeface. We agree with you that the paper is much better this way.

One perplexing problem was dealing with suggestions 13-28 by reviewer B. As you may recall (that is, if you even bother reading the reviews before sending your decision letter), that reviewer listed 16 works that he/she felt we should cite in this paper. These were on a variety of different topics, none of which had any relevance to our work that we could see. Indeed, one was an essay on the Spanish-American war from a high school literary magazine. The only common thread was that all 16 were by the same author, presumably someone whom reviewer B greatly admires and feels should be more widely cited. To handle this, we have modified the Introduction and added, after the review of the relevant literature, a subsection entitled ``Review of Irrelevant Literature'' that discusses these articles and also duly addresses some of the more asinine suggestions from other reviewers.

We hope you will be pleased with this revision and will finally recognize how urgently deserving of publication this work is. If not, then you are an unscrupulous, depraved monster with no shred of human decency. You ought to be in a cage. May whatever heritage you come from be the butt of the next round of ethnic jokes. If you do accept it, however, we wish to thank you for your patience and wisdom throughout this process, and to express our appreciation for your scholarly insights. To repay you, we would be happy to review some manuscripts for you; please send us the next manuscript that any of these reviewers submits to this journal.

Assuming you accept this paper, we would also like to add a footnote acknowledging your help with this manuscript and to point out that we liked the paper much better the way we originally submitted it, but you held the editorial shotgun to our heads and forced us to chop, reshuffle, hedge, expand, shorten, and in general convert a meaty paper into stir-fried vegetables. We could not or would not  have done it without your input.

Source: http://marialuisaaliotta.wordpress.com/2012/09/08/when-publishing-gets-tough-letter-from-a-frustrated-author/

Why have at it in the morning..!!!

For many couples, a spot of early lovemaking is perhaps the last thing on their mind as the whole family rushes to get dressed and leave for school or work in the morning.
However, recent scientific research shows that early morning sex can work wonders for a relationship, not to mention grant health benefits for both partners as they indulge in a little steamy action before getting out of bed.

Here are some great reasons to tempt partner into early morning sex. For instance, morning is the time when you are full of energy. After having a good night sleep of at least seven to eight hours, your body and mind are well rested and consequently you feel highly invigorated, all of which is great news when sex is involved.
When you are stressed out, it is highly unlikely you or your partner will be in a mood to enjoy sex. In order to enjoy the experience, make sure you and your spouse go to bed at a reasonable hour the previous night so that you don’t feel cranky in the morning with just a five-hour long sleep. Another benefit of early morning sex is the fact that it makes your mood upbeat practically the whole day.
You not only feel elated at having had an intimate session with your partner, but feel invigorated enough to be able to tackle whatever challenges the day may have in store for you. Sexual activity not only prevent cortisol from building up in the body but actually produces the feel-good hormone oxytocin which lifts your mood and makes you feel loved and bonded the whole day long. Beyond that, early morning sex keeps you healthy. Sex helps you maintain an ideal weight, which in turn prevents health problems like diabetes, hypertension and heart conditions.
Dr Debby Herbenich, an American research scientist and author of the book Because It Feels Good, explained that early morning sex makes one stronger and more beautiful. “Morning sex can strengthen your immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection and it releases chemicals that boost levels of oestrogen, which improves the texture of your skin and hair,” Herbenich revealed. Speaking on the same topic, Jane Greer, an American marital therapist, said: “Mornings are the perfect time to indulge in quickie,
because you will probably be in a rush, and the heart-pounding adrenaline of spontaneous sex will intensify the entire experience.” Early morning sex revs up the immune system. If you are looking for a cure to combat frequent colds and flu, look no further than your bedroom. This is because among the various health benefits of morning sex is a stronger immune system. And when you get a dose of your natural immunity booster the first thing in the morning, you stand a great chance of being protected from various infection-causing germs in the environment.
And even nature seems to support this idea. This perhaps explains why most men wake up in the morning with an erection, and scientifically it has been established that while men sleep, the testosterone that they use for the upcoming day accumulates. In the same vein, a recent study conducted at Harvard University, United States, revealed that women are biologically designed to be energised in the morning

-Busola Ashiru

http://www.facebook.com/busola.ashiru/posts/10151408841667910

The 10 Craziest Things Employees Tried to Expense Last Year

Thought the days were gone when a worker could subsidize crazy living with the company Amex? Oh, you naive paragons of corporate virtue. Even in these days of austerity and job insecurity, up to one-fifth of submitted expenses violate company policy, says Robert Neveu, chief executive of Certify, an expense management software firm based in Portland, Me. The violations can range from minor sins like late receipts to the truly mind-blowing—suffice it to say, not one but two live animals (as well as some fake ones) made the list. “Crazy expenses do get submitted more than one might expect,” Neveu says.

Certify shared with Bloomberg Businessweek 10 examples of the more brazen expenses it has collected, based on some 1,000 surveys asking about employees’ outrageous submissions in 2012. Due to confidentiality agreements, the companies were not disclosed, nor were details on which of these expenses were actually paid and which were rejected. (Also no word on who got dunked most in that rented dunk tank.) “They might be crazy,” Neveu says of employee expenses, “but some are legit.” Look, deer urine can be a godsend in the right situation—take a client hunting, win more business. Small price to pay, as long as you’re not the deer.

Goat. Some employees at an energy supply firm apparently decided that, at least in Mexico, a little cabrito was needed. Yum.

Body oil. Someone in retail must have a great body, although it’s unclear if his or her employer wanted to foot the bill for the oil used in a bodybuilding competition.

Deer urine. The urine was an integral prerequisite for an agricultural products company employee’s successful hunting trip with a client. Our question: Who or what got shot?

Baby giraffe. The young giraffe was brought to an office party for a restaurant/hospitality company. We suspect there was plenty of booze there, too.

Live baby octopuses. A Japanese visitor to a pharmaceutical company wanted sushi. What are you gonna do, go to a restaurant or something?

Dunk tank. The dunk tank was rented to boost employee morale at an auto parts supplier. They used it to dunk their boss, which was actually probably pretty good for morale.

Pink flamingo lawn ornaments. The employee of a medical device manufacturer needed four. For the home, it’s tacky, but for the office? That’s so fun! Umbrella drinks for everyone!

Laser tattoo removal. Submitted by an IT industry worker who decided that tattoos did not fit his/her professional image and sought to ”appear more professional to clients.” Sounds reasonable enough, especially if you’re this guy.

$1,300 for Henry IV Cognac. After dinner, the Masters of the Universe in finance like to have drinks. One employee decided to sample one of the world’s most expensive liquors on the company dime. Nothing about this should really be all that surprising.

A trip for a job interview. Yes, someone apparently hated his telecom/ISP gig so much he decided the company should pay the cost for seeking a new employer. Call it the audacity of hope. Good luck, friend. You—and your brazen expenses—will surely be missed.

By:  Venessa Wong
http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-01-04/the-10-craziest-things-employees-tried-to-expense-last-year 

9 Reasons Why Some African Ladies End Up Single For Life

1. Many African ladies will end up singles for life because of media exposure- it is so disheartening how a lady will glue her eyes on a mobile phone from morning to night, only to raise it up to focus on television to watch another celebrity entertainment channel. Tell me, what else will dominate this lady’s mindset aside how to live a fake celebrity life being promoted on television channels?

2. Many African ladies now dislike cooking and home chores just because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to modern media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive way that’s aimed at destroying the unique African family setting that made our previous African marriages everlasting and envious to the westerns. Now, with this attitude, how do you expect a African man to desire to marry when he knows he is only buying more headache and trouble than helper for himself?

3. Excessive makeup turns most decent and serious-minded men off- if you have observed, you will discover that most men dislike excessive makeup, and more don’t even like it at all; reason they often times discourage their true loved ones to do away with it cos it speaks ill of a lady even though so many men will applaud and complement you for looking like an Egyptian mummy. A slight makeup is okay; but if you are out for marriage, try always to look simple and natural, it will attract better men, decent and serious-minded, except you are still living in your high school life and not thinking towards marriage.

4. Stop Giving Your Number Out To Every Dick & Harry! No man would want to propose marriage to a lady whose phone is always talking and laughing with unserious calls. You may not be a playgirl, but he would judge you as one, and will likely flee at the slightest chance or disagreement.

5. You Don’t Bring Any Value Into The Life Of Men You Date or Are Dating- because your best friend married without contributing anything to the man that finally married her, doesn’t mean it will work for you that way. Think, work towards equipping yourself so that you can be a value and also add value to his life to convince him that you are worth committing to. Adding value to his life isn’t by giving him money, or material gifts, nope….good counsels, being his best friend, helping him attain his goals in life, lending him moral, mental and spiritual support, and by not just being a liability that only bring requests and problems to be solved.

6. Your Friends Run Your Life- how do you expect to find a husband when you still allow your clique of friends to be dictating which man you meet is worthy of your love and which is not? When will you wake up and face the fact that those your best friends even though they cherish you, wouldn’t want you to marry before them or to marry the best man?

7. You Give Everything Out During Dating- As a single lady who has not been taken to the altar, you need to reserve some things for your husband to be, especially your body, respect it and preserve it at all cost. In the past, men rushed to marry to get certain things or privileges they had been constantly denied while being single. Such privileges include and not limited to: constant sex and companionship, good food and tidied home, etc. But today, a single man gets even the best and of course more of constant sex, good food and excellent home-keeping more than his married counterparts, so tell me how the hell you want him to desire to marry you when you have given him virtually everything he desires from a wife while being his girlfriend? And the most painful part of it all is that he knows that you are prepared to cut down on sex supply, cooking, home-keeping, etc once he marries you, so why would he not want you to remain his girlfriend for life?

8. You Package Yourself Wrongly- in your attempt to look sexy, adorable and maybe appealing to guys, you have derailed from appealing to appalling. In fact you look more whorish than modest; more distractive than attractive, and more disgusting than adorable. Your dressing style determines who gets attracted to you most times. If you dress high school, only high school-thinking guys will be attracted to you, and if you dress excessively sexy and provocative, only randy men will come to you for urgent satisfaction of their immediate sex urge, so don’t be fooled by media hyping of certain kinds of dressing, they are meant for certain set of ladies you wouldn’t like to be associated with, be careful. Remember, not all clothes that look sexy are good for a seriously searching for a soul mate single lady.

9. You Lack Manner, Character, Wisdom and Good Home Upbringing- definitely, your ‘hot girl’, ‘pretty girl’, ‘sexy girl’ looks will win you so many men; both the good, and the bad, but your inner beauty, your character and manner are the things that will determine whether any of those men would stay or run after accomplishing their evil missions. In order words, do away with nagging, being possessive, challenging with men in negative ways, the mentality of ‘what a man can do a woman can do better’, a lie devil has used to deceive and destroy so many ladies today, please do away with it.

By: Tinashe Maruta 

Source: http://olaedo.riktechnologies.com/9-reasons-why-some-african-ladies-end-up-single-for-life/